The Legendary Dinghy
by bobthetree123
Summary: Jack, Will, Elizabeth, Norrington, Jones and Barbossa agree to have a dinghy race to see who is the most Legendary Pirate. Just a bit of pointless humour. Involves rubber ducks! I promise you'll be entertained


**Disclaimer: All Pirates characters belong to Disney.**

**I wrote this for no random reason. I hope you like it and please review.**

Jack Sparrow, William Turner, Elizabeth Swann, James Norrington, Davy Jones and Hector Barbossa were all sitting around a large table. An argument had broken out, caused by deciding who was the most Legendary Pirate, (or Leader, in Norringtons case). A huge burst of anger came from Jones. 'How in the world are we supposed to decide that? Ye have a plan Jack Sparrow?'

'I do.' Jack replied smartly. 'I call for a vote.'

William slapped his hand to his forehead. Not again!!

'What would be the point of that?' Norrington asked. 'Everyone would vote for themselves!'

'Again' Barbossa added.

'I call for a vote,' Jack repeated. Everyone agreed.

'William Turner.'

'Elizabeth Swann.'

'James Norrington.'

'Davy Jones.'

'Hector Barbossa.'

'Jack Sparrow.'

Everyone looked at Jack. Last time he had voted for Elizabeth. 'Oi, I AM the most legendary pirate, so I AM allowed to vote for meself. Savvy?'

'This is not going to work,' Barbossa stated.

Obviously.

'I have a better idea!' Jack piped in. 'How about a boat race? Not with our huge ships though. We'll test our skills in a dinghy!!!!'

Everyone looked at Jack.

'Well if ye have a better idea than share it!'

No one did.

'It's settled then! Now let's just scurry down to the shore, and LET"S RACE!!!!!!'

Everyone let out a yell of enthusiasm and scurried out of their seats. There was a huge commotion to get out the door. Outside, everyone looked at the sky. 'There's a nice wind boys!!' Barbossa shouted. Enthused, everyone ran down to the shore.

*

All the dinghies were lined up in the ocean, with their competitor inside. Barbossa stated the rules. 'Okay then. No shooting, stabbing, or blowing up each other. Minor damage is fine. If you fall out of your boat your out of the race. The first person to the Black Pearl is pronounced most Legendary pirate. Which will, of course, be me.'

All of a sudden another dinghy was pushed into the line. A man dressed in black climbed in. 'Ready!' he called. Everyone stared at him. 'Hey, I recognise you,' Jack queried. 'You're the guy at the noose!!! What the hell are YOU doing here?'

The noose-guy shivered as he saw all the pirates and Norrington staring at him. 'Well, I thought it was an open race......'

His race was then to swim to shore, as Jack had kicked him out of his boat. Everyone shrugged then looked to Barbossa.

Barbossa then let out the foreplay statement.

'Raise your colours, ya bloomin' cockroaches!!!'

All around, flags were raised. A Jolly Roger with a sparrow for Jack. A smiling Jolly Roger for Barbossa. The East India Trading Company flag for Norrington. The Singapore Lord's flag for Elizabeth. A square of tattered sail for Jones. The blacksmiths symbol on a cloth for Will.

'Set your sails!!' Barbossa called again. Sails were raised in all direction, blowing thickly in the wind.

'Ready!' Barbossa's final word.

'Go!!!' Barbossa shot his pistol into the air.

All the boats took lift off. Will got a good head start, but was soon taken over by Jones. Jack was not far behind, with Norrington closing into him. It was then Elizabeth then Barbossa. 'Yes, I can see very well that you're winning Barbossa,' Jack called over his shoulder sarcastically, then grinned. Barbossa gritted his teeth.

Jack decided to start cheating. He sailed up next to Will. 'Oi, Will,' he called to get his attention. Will turned to look at Jack, but instead found a boom whacking into his forehead. He dropped out of the boat. Jack laughed. Will cursed. 'I hate him!'

Jack was now in the lead. But Jones was coming up behind. Okay, Jack thought, time to take out fish-face. But Jones had other plans. 'Release,' he shouted, 'the KRAKEN!!!!!!!!!!'

(Kraken theme song plays here). Jones started turning the wheel which was placed around the mast.

Jack shuddered. Not again. He didn't like the Kraken. But his fear turned out to be useless.

Up in the ocean next to Jack popped a rubber ducky.

Jack grimaced.

Jones was screaming like a maniac. 'HA HA HA HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Jack decided to talk some sense into him. 'Oi, fish-face, it's a rubber ducky!'

'So?'

'Never mind.' Jack picked up the rubber ducky and threw it at Jones, smacking him square in the head. Jones fell out of the boat. 'Who's laughing now?!' Jack said to himself. 2 down, 3 to go.

Jack looked behind him. He was in the lead, but not by much. Only a few metres. But they could easy be caught up by Norrington. How could he get rid of him?!

I know!

Jack moved his boom so he started sailing _across _from the shore. Norrington looked at him quizzically then his eyes widened as he worked out what he was doing. Jack was cutting off his path. Norrington pulled out his sword. Jack, too, drew his. A miniature sword fight then took place between the two vessels. The other boats were far behind. Jack started then being tricky. Between blows he hit the mast, trying to knock it down. After about five hits it was nearly down. Norrington saw this too. 'Abandon ship!' he shouted, and plummeted into the ocean just before the mast fell crashing down. Jack looked down too where Norrington was swimming in the ocean. 'Still rooting for you, mate!' he called as he turned to continue the race.

His little run-in with Norrington had lost him time. He was still ahead, by quite a bit, but he wanted to win, and he knew he wouldn't make it in time. He had to take out Elizabeth and then sail. He could easily beat Barbossa, especially in sailing in a dinghy. He'd done _that_ MANY times.

Jack was thinking of a plan to take Elizabeth but could come up with nothing that wouldn't hurt her. He didn't want to hurt a girl. But he needn't have worried. He heard a huge blast. Swinging round, he saw Barbossa aiming a cannon over the side of his dinghy. He had shot at Elizabeth, who was slowly starting to sink. Jack heard Barbossa fire another blast, and felt his boat rock. Bugger. Barbossa had hit his ship.

Finding a bucket, Jack started to bail. The hole wasn't big, but you didn't need a big hole to sink a ship. Whilst bailing, he looked to see if he was still sailing in the right direction. He could still win this. He wasn't that far from the _Pearl_. Jack tried bailing faster. His arms were burning. He could feel himself slowly, very slowly, starting to sink.

'Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger,' Jack muttered. Curse Barbossa and his god-damned monkey.

From a distance, Jack heard Barbossa laugh. 'Yea, I'll show you,' he murmured. Jack stopped bailing for a few seconds to pick up his pistol. He aimed and shot. The bullet hit Barbossa's feathers on his hat. _Always the feathers!!!!_ Jack thought. _Why!!!??!!!_

Jack started bailing again. The Pearl drew closer. _Come on boat, _Jack willed.

The Pearl was now only a few metres away.

Jack kept bailing. His boat was still half-submerged. No matter how much water Jack took out, it came back in.

But then the Pearl was an arms length away. Jack touched it. He jumped up and cheered. 'I'm the most legendary pi-rate. And I have a jar of dirt!!!' And he did. He pulled it from the boat and lifted it high into the air, and started walking around in circles in his boat.

He completely forgot about the hole.

Jack heard something crack. He looked down.

'Oh bugger.'

The hole had gotten bigger with his walking around. There was another crack. Jack's boat started sinking.

Pretty soon he found himself swimming in the ocean with everyone else.

Except Barbossa. Who sailed right past Jack and touched the boat. He laughed again.

'Now _I _am the most legendary pirate.'

But Jack had resurfaced and was looking strangely at Barbossa.

'Sorry mate, but that job has already been taken by me.'

'You fell in.'

'Ah, yes, but I touched the boat before you, which means I win.'

'I win!'

'I win!'

This argument continued. Pretty soon Barbossa gave up. 'Fine, you win. '

Jack smiled hugely, showing his gold teeth. 'Told you mate.'

Barbossa looked like he might murder Jack for getting the best of him.

Jack swam up to Barbossa's dinghy and climbed in while Barbossa was looking the other way. The boat rocked. Barbossa turned around. 'You-'

_Bang_!

Jack had gotten his pistol and knocked Barbossa on the head with it. He then kicked Barbossa out of the dinghy. 'Thanks mate!' Jack called to him, settling down in the dinghy.

Jack sailed the dinghy back to shore, passing everyone. They all were not happy.

Jack reached the shore long before the others. To reward himself he pulled out a bottle of rum.

'Drink up me hearties, yo ho!


End file.
